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Torteval Scarecrow Festival ruined by scared crow

A scared crow has horrified festival goers as he razed the annual scarecrow festival to the ground.

Untold damage was caused when the errant bird went on the rampage.

Tabitha Pipet, full-time mummy, had to throw her daughter into a hedge veg box for safety.

“I’m not sure what came over that crow, there I was walking around Torteval when I saw it attacking a straw Dalek.

“It seemed crazed, like a rabid bat, swooping and diving at everyone in sight.

“It was like the sack of Carthage – I had to yeet my daughter into the hedge veg box before she was taken away like that chihuahua that ended up on a barbecue.”

Mrs Pipet was later treated for mild stress and charged with minor bruising to a vegetable or minor.

Other onlookers reported fires breaking out and several small explosions in the usually sleepy parish.

Mrs Pipet’s nine-year-old daughter, Avocado, described what she saw to The Guern.

“There were horses and a man on fire and my cousin Aubergine was carried off by a seagull.”

Officials from the douzaine estimate the cost of the damage caused could be in the tens of pounds.

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