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Guern Guide: 10 Scenes That Prepared Us For Lockdown

The idea of lockdown is tough for a Guern. Being indoors all day is a new phenomenon for a lot of us. As islanders, we’re used to the outdoors. We can’t fish, or go for a pub lunch, or even queue up for our sweet sweet bennies.

It’s an unprecedented time and has left many unprepared. Let’s take a breath and have a lighter look at our current predicament, with 10 movies and TV shows that taught us valuable lessons on being stuck indoors.

1) Lost – Use your time effectively  

Yes, everyone soured on this show after the finale. No, they weren’t dead the whole time. Either way, just look at how efficient Desmond is in this scene.

No one’s watching him, yet Desmond’s a model human being. This is the perfect routine for everyone right now.

Rise with the alarm, put on a banger, get the washing up done, continue to shower, exercise – he mastered an isolation fitness routine way before Joe Wicks – eat a healthy breakfast, and take any medicines or vitamins to keep you healthy.

The less said about the man compulsively sliding back over to his computer every 108 minutes, the better.

Use your time more effectively, gentlemen; learn from…

2) About a Boy – Break up your day

In About a Boy, Hugh Grant plays Will, an eternal bachelor who doesn’t have to work. He also decides he’s an island, not needing anyone else to be happy. A true pioneer of social distancing. So how does he achieve this?

He divides his time into manageable units of 30 minutes. These include taking a bath, watching TV, “web-based research”, low-intensity exercise, and spending two hours having his head massaged. Save that last one as a treat for when we’re allowed out again.

His example is the most useful of any on this list of incredibly vital survival tactics. But if you think Will’s use of time is frivolous, use yours to educate yourself…

3) Interstellar – Don’t dream your life away

When David Gyasi’s Romilly is left alone on a spaceship for 23 years, he uses the time to study black holes, quantum physics, and spacetime. This is all the more impressive when it becomes clear he could have simply gone into a drugged sleep and dreamed his life away.

Don’t just stay in bed. We all have a bit of time to study something new right now. Take the opportunity to play the guitar, learn a language, or explore the mysteries of the universe.

Or if you’re not that productive a person…

4) Friends – Don’t spread yourself too thin

Joey teaches Ross the fundamentals of being at home all day. His first lesson is not to use up all the fun tasks at once.

You have time to take a breath and work out a healthy balance. Sure, rearrange the fridge, that’s a stellar use of time. Then, kick back and give your friends a call. It’s advice we can all live by.

Don’t let your schedule be too loose though…

5) Shaun of the Dead – Have a clear plan in mind

You’ve seen the memes. You’ve seen the recreation that Britain’s finest, Pegg and Frost, recorded a few weeks ago. You knew it was coming.

No other prepping-for-crisis scene is as well-quoted as this one. Hole up, have a cup of tea, and wait for all this to blow over.

If you do see people gathering in the park and feel like intervening, just promise you won’t remove the head or destroy the brain. In fact, stay at least two meters away entirely.

And remember to keep it civilised…

6) The Dark Knight – Stay civilised

This one is a bleak warning. The Dark Knight is all about how people act when things don’t go according to plan and chaos throws society into a panic. 

“When the chips are down, these civilised people, they’ll eat each other.”

We don’t need to throw our values and decency away because we’re in a time of uncertainty. It’s also a time for community and solidarity. Simply put, don’t prove Joker right: stop fighting over toilet paper.

You probably have everything you need…

7) This Is the End – Take stock of supplies

The light-hearted apocalypse of This Is the End teaches us many things: keep a good supply of drinking water, stand by your friends, and have enough snacks in the house for everyone.

Close proximity eventually leads one of the group praying to the devil to kill another. How are things in your household?

You can avoid this in your household by checking your supplies. Take stock of what you have. This will show you that you have enough, or exactly what you do need. Then make a list and ease up on the panic buying.

We don’t want anyone resorting to…

8) Game of Thrones – Plan your meals

Before he burned his daughter and the last of the good scripts at the end of season five, King Stannis was full of wise words about how to deal with this exact situation.

It won’t come to this, but King Stannis lays out a clear hierarchy for how to feed yourself when pushed.

Thankfully we’re not under siege, so this isn’t a reality. Set that worry aside and fall in love with staying home. Make the most of this time. “How?” you ask…

9) The Simpsons – Learn to love staying in

Homer the Heretic aired at the height of The Simpsons’ golden age. In the episode, Homer stops going to church to spend his Sundays at home. Anyone can relate to Homer wanting to just stay in bed because he’s a big toasty cinnamon bun.

Take that lie in; you deserve it. Don’t spend all day in bed though. There are shiny pennies waiting to be found.

And if you’re lucky, you’re surrounded by family…

10) The Dark Knight Rises – Stay home with your families

Sometimes inspiration comes from unlikely places. You wouldn’t expect much in the way of comforting words from Tom Hardy’s Bane, but you have to look for the good in every situation.

“Go back to your homes, hold your families close, and wait.”

It’s sweet and timely advice. Just ignore all the terrorism and underlying threats of nuclear detonation.

We’re all being asked to make sacrifices, but let’s keep some perspective. Stay put, watch some quality films or TV, and help keep everyone safe.

And if you think we’ve missed any obvious ones, let us know in the comments.

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