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Island’s agricultural shows in doubt after giant tomato mishap

The island’s vegetable growers have been dealt a devastating blow during this year’s competitive season.

It comes after one local horticulturalist grew a tomato so large it blotted out the sun across the island, scaring locals but delighting Italians.

Ron Le Marquand, 97, said he wasn’t expecting such a rotund fruit to sprout in his St Martin’s allotment.

“When I planted those seeds at the start of lockdown I was expecting maybe a few little tomatoes to go in my sandwiches at the end of the summer – not this monstrosity,” he said.

“My father was a grower, his father was a grower, his father was a barber, but his father was also a grower so I guess it’s in the blood.”

The gigantic fruit weighs in at a whopping 60 tonnes and has a circumference of approximately 300 metres.

“Never mind the lack of sunlight across the island; it’s grown around my house and crushed my conservatory, caved in the roof of my shed,” explained Mr Le Marquand.

“I haven’t seen my cat in two months either… And who’s going to fix my lean-to? I can’t even get to it.”

While other vegetable afficionados are convinced the popular salad item would take the world record, it’s impossible for it to be certified by Guinness officials due to the coronavirus lockdown restrictions.

“What’s to say this isn’t a Photoshop job?” A spokesman for the record keepers said.

“I can tell by the pixels and having seen a few shops in my time.”

Despite this one tomato being an exceedingly large problem for the island and possibly the world as it continues to grow, an All Fruits Matter campaign has been started in earnest, possibly by jealous Jerseymen.

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