The rare kaiju retriever was brought to justice earlier this evening after a long chase across Vale common. The whole island was shook. Authorities were able…
The Guern
It’s been a dark month for Mallard staff, Minions fans, and cinemagoers. A teenage boy flew an F15 Raptor through the Mallard’s legendary Screen Two,…
Judges, parents, and childless freaks gathered at La Mare field for the annual Baby of the Year Awards 2022. Young children were eyed and paraded…
An unnamed Bridge pub, discreetly reported as T. Mariners, accidentally served a pint of Breda with a floating rat in it two weeks ago. To…
Beau Sejour has made a radical decision this week after their sport floor was officially declared worst in the world. Gillian Guille-Gill, Beau Sejour’s VP…
Staff writers at The Guern have been left dumbfounded after real-life events rendered one of their stories entirely moot. Dubbed The Moot-ening, it was caused…
Residents in St Pierre Du Bois can take a giant leap into the 20th century from next month. Constables in the parish have finally agreed…
Eleven days into the lockdown and further tragic news has hit the island. It seems local politicians are feeling the pinch the same as the…
The old Guernsey Rumour Mill, which spins to the beat of island gossip, has gone missing. Witnesses state that the Rumour Mill picked up such…
A Vale man will spend the rest of his life behind bars having been found guilty of taking a two hour five minute walk during…