Beau Sejour has made a radical decision this week after their sport floor was officially declared worst in the world.
Gillian Guille-Gill, Beau Sejour’s VP of Flooring and Little Beanbags, was shocked to receive news of the award.
“After being named worst sports floor in the world by a concerned baller, we had no choice but to take action.
“We had a meeting and decided we either had to get rid of the floor or get rid of the world. Getting rid of the floor won by a show of hands.
“If we don’t have a floor then we can’t be the worst one.”
The management team also removed all of their trophy cases just to be on the safe side.
The floor had been on shaky ground for some time. Just last year the floor’s old tweets resurfaced, leading to a 2-week suspension.
“We don’t allow black shoes in this hall, lol” was one particularly heinous slight.
There are reports the floor had been looking up skirts for years, had been accused of being overly squeaky and once admitted to not mopping for several weeks.
Martin Yabsley, former professional basketballer and current professional declarer of worst floors, made comment.
“I have played all over the world and every single court I have ever played on – even in much less privileged places than Guernsey – have been sprung floors, except for the hall at Beau Sejour. It is the worst floor in the world that I have played on.
“I played ball in the favellas of Brazil, tripped on a bottle of Cachaça, got shanked in the groin as I went for a layup and landed on Neymar’s poodle. That was a better floor experience than Beau Sejour.
The Guern reached out to Greg Forino Flooring for comment, only to be met with confusion.
We’ll have our ears to the ground for updates as this story develops.