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Indigenous Guerns to be subject of latest Attenborough doc

The tribe of indigenous Guerns from the deepest parts of St Pierre du Bois will be the subject of David Attenborough’s latest Netflix documentary, Our Island.

The Croque De Le Carteret Bisson-Blampied Tribe haven’t left their landlocked field since they were banished from Fort Grey during the Napoleonic Wars.

The small group of natives were uncovered recently by a wildlife photographer.

Dr Nick De La Mare, the island’s anthropologist, told The Guern how they came to be discovered.

“We had a tip off about some unusually small humanoids running around a field and hiding behind trees, so we went in for a closer look.

“Jehovahs was our first thought.

“We had a shock. Short, stocky humans, GUERNS, wearing thick Guernseys, disguised among the foliage and trees” said Dr De La Mare.

“They only came up to our chests and had developed a language and an advanced system for growing tomatoes.”

The tribe are not thought to have had contact with the outside world for more than a century, and as such contact will be limited.

“We don’t want them catching local illnesses or claiming benefits, so we’ve cordoned off the whole area,” Dr De La Mare explained.

“They’re a violent bunch of bastards – they attacked us with potatoes when we arrived. Lots and lots of potatoes. Big ones.”

Mr Attenborough is thought to be mostly interested in how they stayed hidden on such a small island, and how their habitat is at risk of being turned into small homes and car parks.

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