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Local man caught with cannabis, beheaded by liege lord outside Mariners. Justice served.

Local youth, Jace Le Chalet, 19, was brought to justice and the King’s Peace restored this afternoon.

Mr Le Chalet was drinking in the Mariners Inn, a local taphouse, when he was apprehended with up to and including 0.5 grams of marijuana or “marijasweet” as Mr Le Chalet slurred it.

Lord Pete Hills of St Peter’s Hill arrived atop a brown palfrey not long after, having only been at Friday beers in the Parrot.

Lord Hills asked young Mr Le Chalet to remove his hoody and if he had any final words.

“It was just a bit of puff,” the teenager insisted, truculent to the end.

Lord Hills sentenced Mr Le Chalet to die and took the head in a single clean sweep, ridding his lands of a dangerous outlaw and restoring the Peace.

“Nasty business, but law is law,” Lord Hills stated.

“If he’d been caught fighting or forcing himself on a woman, we’d take the hand and call it a day,”

“But I will not have an adult consensually partaking in the leaf on my lands,”

“Get a vice that’s normal, I say – alcohol or theft, something manageable.”

His Lordship then lit a cigarette, swayed back to his horse and rode away through a crowd of peasants, such is his right.

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