A planning application for a swimming pool at Cobo Kiosk has been approved.
The owners say it will give beach-goers somewhere to cool off in the hot summer months.
“The problem with the sea is there are a lot of fish in it, fish and seaweed. And turds,” said Pauline Naftel, the kiosk’s owner.
“We’re going to have a very strict no fish, no turd policy at this new swimming pool and we’re really excited to open it.”
Regular users of the beach have reacted warmly to the plans, describing it as a much needed respite from the literal pieces of shit in the water.
Stacey Rowe, 30, is glad to have a safe space to swim.
“I was down the bathing pools the other day and then Condor went past and swept my youngest out to sea.
“We were lucky to get him back.”
“My husband’s been known to swim back from Herm after 14 pints and a short in The Mermaid and even in that state can tell the sea water’s disgusting.”
The pool is expected to open, shit free, this summer.