Les Riches stores in St Sampson’s has launched its new marketing scheme.
In a bid to expand knowledge of their brand, the local company has dumped 5000 plastic straws into the English Channel.
Company spokesperson Dale De Mouilpied said:
“Hopefully the Les Riches brand straws that aren’t eaten by the turtles will float far away and be noticed by beach goers worldwide.”
It is thought the straws will be assisted by industrial sized fans for early mileage.
Weary animal rights activists spoke to The Guern.
“The island is fast becoming a toxic waste nightmare. Last month someone threw a tinnie at a dolphin from the Herm Trident,” the anonymous activist explained.
“There are missing children and giant gull tracks around Mont Cuet.
“If Big Oil don’t destroy our waters, Big Straw aren’t far behind. Where does it end?”
The regional on-duty vice-manager for Les Riches said he was too busy to comment, but was seen monitoring CCTV in the back office, sipping pina colada from a turtle.