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Planning permission granted for St Peter Port skyscraper

The first skyscraper in Guernsey has been approved by the planning department.

The 60-storey building will sit on The Grange, looming ominously over the St Peter Port skyline.

Architects, BigLargeBuildings Corp, say the building will command spectacular views of the Longue Hougue waste sorting facility.

Trev Le Tissier, the lead architect on the project, is delighted.

“Who cares if 1,500 homes and businesses will lose all access to natural light sources?

“Guernsey Electricity will make a killing out of this because all those houses will need to be running lights 24/7.

“And let’s not forget all the associated jobs that will be filled as we look to start construction.”

Mandy Le Noury owns a home that will fall inside the building’s shadow footprint, and she is far from happy.

“Why do we want that bloody great building in Guernsey? It costs £8,000 a month to live in a garden shed, no one will be able to afford to even look at the building, let alone live in it.”

It’s not immediately clear if the owners of the site intend to charge for simply looking at it, but they are ‘refusing to rule anything out’.

Workers at the Longue Hougue facility say they don’t want any unnecessary oversight.

“How are we supposed to nick stuff if there are some fancy fat cats watching us from out of their house all day,’ said waste disposal officer Tim Le Tocq.

“The other day I found a really nice garden table and chair set which was only a little bit scratched so I loaded it up in my van and took it home.

“The wife was thrilled, and I had somewhere to put my barbecue food in the summer – those days will be long gone if they build that skyscraper.”

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