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We’re launching GuernPlus, a members club where you pay us for the empty promise of perks

We’re proud to announce the announcement of our new members club ‘GuernPlus’ designed to make you give us your hard-earned cash.

The time is right for us to start absorbing the money in your wallets and, with the introduction of GuernPlus, you’ll be able to receive a whopping 5%* discount on meals, shopping, and much more.

This is the Guern’s third money-spinning ploy after failed attempts to go into print format and then broadcast over the wireless.

Resident Guern Cordelia Elizabeth Gaudion-Grut is spearheading our new members club:

“Basically, we saw others doing it and thought we deserve some of that moolah too,” she said.

Cordelia has been busy setting up connections with local businesses to provide discounts** and perks*** for our members, which include 1% off a coffee at Costa, and 0.5% off every third shop over £100 at the Co-Op Grande Marche (St Martin’s only).

“Most of you will forget the GuernPlus card when you go out, which really works in our favour,” Cordelia added.

We’re very excited to launch our new members club and encourage potential members to join now. You can also join the waitlist for our higher-tier club, GuernPlusPro+, which will really make you feel important.

GuernPlusPro+ members can also subscribe to our podcast. For a nominal fee, a member of our team will come to your house and shout the news at you while you go about your daily chores.

If you are finding yourself overladen with cash in the wake of Covid-19, take a look at our newly-launched merch store here.

Stay tuned for more.

*only in select locations, no businesses are required to fulfil this offer and being a member of GuernPlus does not guarantee any form of discount or benefit.

**not always exclusive discounts, can include in-store sales available to all members of the public.

***perks may also work in reverse, shops may decide to charge you more for the privilege of owning a GuernPlus card.

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