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Victor Hugo statue under guard from radical Les Mis fan

Victor Hugo’s statue will be defended at all costs, says one local man.

Mick Le Guilcher, 47, has been seen standing guard at the site in Candie Gardens day-and-night since he saw statues being guarded by likeminded scholars in London.

Mr Le Guilcher had been looking for a new project after losing his job as an alcoholic when pubs closed at the start of lockdown.

“I was quite happy sinking pints in the Happy Landings up until this China flu came over and ruined it,” he said.

“I’d been sitting alone in my flat for seven weeks when I saw the protests on the telly and I knew then that I could finally be of value to this world.

“I dreamed a dream of days gone by, when I could watch GADOC bring touching musicals to life before all this flu and racism started.”

Confused bigots, or ‘counter-protesters’ as the mainstream media refers to them, began protecting contentious statues in the UK in recent weeks.

This started after a monument to renowned Bristolian slaver, Edward Colston, was torn down and thrown into a harbour.

People with a tenuous grasp of history naturally rushed to defend it at all costs.

Fans of the slavery movement were quick to leap to Colston’s defence and formed protective rings around other inanimate objects across the country. This is the first of its kind in Guernsey.

“Say what you want about Victor Hugo, but he was a Guern through-and-through,” said Mr Le Guilcher.

“It’s vitally important we protect him from any harm these bleeding-heart-lefty-liberals might do to him. The immigrants might have taken our jobs, but they’ll never take our statues or our musical theatre.

“Victor Hugo said that even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise. I’ll defend that great man until the pubs are running smooth again and GADOC set a new date for Annie.”

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