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As world reviews police militarization, Guernsey Police release fascist propaganda video

As nations across the planet review police brutality, militarisation and politically-motivated action, Guernsey Police have released a gun-toting, taser-crackling recruitment video in a determined crime against tact. They’ll read you your rights while struggling to read a room.

The video portrays the daily life a of a beat cop in our sleepy, whiter-than-Hovis island as a constant adrenaline rush, sure to attract recruits who think holding a gun sound like bants, former schoolyard bullies out to prove a point and those deemed unfit for the military.

The tagline, “Redefine Your Usual” is strikingly similar to British Army and TA recruitment videos, which portray military service as a place to belong or get away from a mundane existence.

It’s good to know that those who protect and serve our community see policing in the naïve, badass light that an 8-year-old does.

The video shows the police locking and loading to a rowdy chorus of America, Fuck Yeah.

In fairness to the department, swan vagrancy is down a whopping 73%.

One anonymous Constable agreed to answer a few questions from his regular beat, the 18 steps between the Harbour Lights and The Yacht.

The Guern:
Do the makers of this video believe all criminals are tattooed hoodlums?

Cuntstable:
We just cast the one tattooed hoodlum actually.

The video has since been pulled amid public ridicule, likely in an effort to stop The Guern from doing our journalistic duty. However, it can still be viewed down below.

Read our next piece on The Guern being legally named a terrorist organization, likely coming soon.

Cornetto?

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